have u ever

feel how it's like when the people that we truly love take us for granted and just hurt you just because they know that we love them a lot?

I CAN'T

i can't write anymore
i can't interprete how i feel
the feelings keep disappearing each time i thought of writing
keeping inside kills me A LOT
butwhen i tend ot tell people how i feel,they just jump into another subject
no one really knows how i felt inside
day by day i distance myself away from people
i wanna be in my own comfort zone
this is not my life
i'm just in a nightmare

i don't know
i dont' dream about you anymore in my sleep
i was trying to search for you
but u wasn't there
u seem to disappear lately
all the important memories and days that we create aren't there in my thoughts
i don't know why
i'm forgetting all the plans and promises that u've made
i don't think they'll come true
i dont know i just dont know

4 berlian's class partay!

One Malaysia

bummed

All people in my life is running away.Faded away as the day pass by.Everyone.What goes wrong?I’m a failure in life about socializing.back then I have bestfriends who I really really loved.i feel secure when I was with them.they were my everything.i enjoyed every second with them.i guess my love just wasted all this while as God unmasked them.back then,i put all the blame on them because of my unhappiness.i suffer a lot.i was mentally distracted and abused mentally.i had the trauma in the heart as one by one of bestfriends left me in hatred.maybe they did not choose that way.maybe I’m the one who likes to make everything worse.true that.maybe they’re not entirely wrong.maybe I’m just be selfish and hyperactive.that’s the way I roll.i used to think that they ruined my teenage life.i wasn’t happy at all.my days coloured in gray and only one of two of my classmates strengthen my heart.tell me how does it feels when your bestfriends stabbed in at the back?when they have duo personalities?angel in front sataan behind?i thought they were different.i thought they were truly my bestfriends.i was fucking wrong.they were not truthful to me.i really thought that I could trust them.thats why I’m not blaming them as I can’t achieve my happiness because of my own foolness.i was fool not to know the real them.i was fool to hide my true feelings about them.i was fool to call them my bestfriends.i was fool to trust them.i don’t blame them anymore.it was all my fault.i expected to receive the same amount of love I gave to them.daddy was right.we can’t make everybody to follow our way.people are different.why can’t I face the fact?easy.because I was really blind.now we are even.i don’t blame them no more.but one thing for sure,I will never wanna see their faces ever in my life as I’m trying to forget my ruined teenage life.i’ve learnt a lot.i thank them as I gained more experiences and I’m stronger than ever.i will never revenge.i believe in karma and God will show them how I felt back then.it’s just the matter of time.all I do now is just to sit back and watch what will happen

quiet

She's different from the rest of the girls. She's not fake
& she likes to dance, sing, & act crazy with her friends.
She will overanalyze everything you can possibly say,
she can argue. She doesn't like drama & can live without it &
the people that cause it. But the one thing that she will never
understand is why he can't love her the way that she loves him.

random

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
mal-ass


2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
daddy's books

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
wipeot babeh!

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11.30 i guess hihi

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11.26 haha close enough

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the backhoe outside

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
last nite went to the shop to buy a tin of coke

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
your tube haha

9. What are you wearing?
harvard t-shirt with shorts haha aku tak mandi lagi weehoo

10. Did you dream last night?
don't think so

11. When did you last laugh?
just now-when i called lina

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
a lot of photos

13. Seen anything weird lately?
yeah fahrin is weird:O

14. What do you think of this quiz?
i got no other things to do so yeah to me its okayy

15. What is the last film you saw?
uhhhh?ummmm can't remember it was quite a long time ago

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
all the things they had on earth hihi:PP

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
u don't have to know anything punkd

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
help to save mother earth and support breast cancer foundation more than before

19. Do you like to dance?
not really i suck in dancing

20. George Bush:
is !@$%^&*()(*&^#$%

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
marinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn:P

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
ihyas

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
i want to but i love msia.tanah tumpah darahku:D

maaflah aku tak dengar

ape?sekarang dah menyesal?bila kau buat salah fuhh tak ingat dunia.aku nie macam nak mati ingat dekat kau.kau ade fikir SIKIT pun pasal aku?setahu aku tak langsung hapak pun takde kan?baguslah.aku nie je yang tergedik gedik ingat kau bestfriend aku.pegi mampus.aku memang bodoh.nampak sangat kau dah bahagia dengan hidup kau.aku tak faham kenape kau tak boleh nampak ape yang kau ade dalam hidup kau.KAU TAK BERSYUKUR.kawan2 kau still lagi care and sayang kat aku although kau dah blah.macam orang tak siuman kau buat kawan2 kau.siang malam try nak reach kau tapi kau?kau buat ape?kau buat bodoh.kau tak habis2 dengan perkataan people change and life must move one.GTH.aku ingat kau pandai bermain dengan psychology.rupanya tak.aku memang selama nie bodoh pun sebab dekatkan diri dengan kau n anggap kau bff aku.kenape kau berubah?senang kan cakap tak guna otak?kau kata kau dah tanak percaya saape2 lagi.OK BAGUS LA.AKU MEMANG TAK KESAH PUN.tapi yang dimusykilkan tu,ade la dua tiga kerat yang kau boleh pulak nak percaya?entah2 itulah syaiton yang menghasut kau selama ni tak?entahlah aku pun xtau nak cakap ape.hidup aku habis dipunahkannya.aku dah TAK ADE SEMANGAT KAU TAU TAK.kau tau aku sedih dengan hidup aku.kau tahu macam mane hidup aku tahun nie.hidup aku RUNTUH BERKECAI!kau lagi nak menambahkan sakit aku.sekarang nie orang lain rase ape aku rase.aku malas dh nak bukak mulut pasal kau.aku lagi lame rase ape yang orang2 yang kau baru buat sekarang nie.sebab aku lagi lama kawan dengan kau.aku pendam je aku malas nk cakap.aku ingat kau selalu ade sokong aku tak kira la bila2 pun.RUPANYA AKU SILAP.SEBAB AKU BODOH PERGI PERCAYA KAT KAU.sekarang nie,bukan salah kau,salah aku aku dan AKU.sebab aku bodoh dan tak guna otak fikir kau macam mane sebenarnya

sesalan tak berguna

banyak benda dalam hidup nie aku menyesal
aku menyesal tak dengarr cakap mama jangan put your friends first
inilah jadinya
aku jugak yang merana
aku dah xpercaya langsung lagi dah
dekat sesiapa
kau mintak maaf,aku peduli apa
kau tak tau hati aku yang sakit merana bagai nak gila
semua kecoh2 tapi aku diam je
malas aku
nak fikir pasal orang macam kau?
BUANG MASA
baik aku fikir pasal study ke ape
inilah hakikat dunia
bila buat baik,pehhh orang pijak kepala macam kita nie babu die
sedaappnya kann?
jangan nak hipokrit belagak baik sana sini padahal awak tu syaiton
aku tak pandang
kepala kau pun tak ingin aku nk pandang
sekali kau cari nahas,alamat lingkup la hidup kau
tuhan ade balasannya
kau percaya KARMA?aku rase orang mcm kau tau bnda2 nie tapi bodoh tk boleh fikir
hari ni mungkin hari kau,esok lusa hari aku
aku hanya tunggu balasan tuhan yang memang tuhan dah tetapkan orang yang buat kejahatan akan dibalas dengan kebrurukan
dan apabila masa dah tiba dan kau dah dapat balasannya
itu lah mase aku GELAK BESARR
jadi kau doalah banyak2 supaya bala tak menimpa hidup kau lepas nie

EZZA IS FREE FROM EXAM!

yeahhhh boii
yippi yai yay yay!
at last
the tortureness is over
ahhhh

blue sands

it's on my head day and night
it has been a motivater for me
to lead this life
to move on with life
to be a better person someday somehow
it gives me strength not to give up and i have to find another way to be happier one day
it makes me think are my loved ones will understand me well and will i ever get to marry my handsome friend one day
the question now is will i ever get to be like the blue sands after all
blue sands symbolize perfection-having a great life with lovely people
it makes me think wisely and be a stronger person better than yesterday
thank you blue sands for having such a lovely melody

ash's open house

it was a lot of fun fun FUN!
jyeahhh
best gila sebab ade all those monkeys of mine yang bernama ariff faez syed ali fadhli jijo ramli reza pastu ade maria and my senior bernice
omg havoc kan?
hahaha so ash showed us the whole house of hers smpai masuk bilik tido and toilet skali siyal!
the food;damn marvellous la cakap!
cendol ade roti canai panas2 tuuu hahaha
thosai la rojak la fuyoh mcm nak mati aku makan tadi!hahaha
memang best gila harini and thanx to all those gang gila2

sabtuue 17 octopus

banyak betul open house nanti
here's the schedule haha
10 am-syria's house
1 pm-kawan jijie kat brickfield kot
1 pm-yam's house
2 pm-mama's friend in bangi
3 pm-ash's house
4 pm-kakak sofea's house
4 pm-suraya and ayoi's house
6pm till midnight-partay at nisha's house haha
so macamane nie?
haha
aku sendiri pun tak tau mane satu yang nak kene pegi

rindu,

nur arinna wahid
hakim wahid
hakim othman hambali ahmad
suhaila abidin
estel
elerric
maryah
aqill ariifien
nabil baharin
weh u guys rindu kan nak main badminton malam2 pastu balik lambat pastu lepak kat ghufran tengok the whole damansara from the hill kan
we're all busy and have no time for all these anymore damn

decision DECISION

nak pegi skolah ke tak nie?
pegi ke x?
pegi ke x?
ya allah malas betul aku
tapi kang bila tak pegi,aku boring pulak haha

i know this typical girl

she's more or less just like me
she walks with no smile on her face
telling people how sucks our live is
worrying all day long
paranoid about unimportant stuff
weak at night
ego is the pride for both of us

pertunangan anizah zainal

congrats to my acu,anizah sebab on 7th of nov she will be engaged!yeah
bestnya tadi pegi cari baju utk acu sume!
esok lagi la banyak barang nak beli
i love you cu!
haha
selamat berbahgia

whaddup ma people

tonight
first of all,i'm gonna study
cewah macam la aku nie org yg berstudy hahaha
lepas study sikit,
i'm gonna partay all night long hahaha
i hope all the food kat rumah elerric cukup la k
i can't wait to see them!
i miss those setans ahaha
my arinna suhaila nabil hambali hakim estel sume pun aku rindu=)

sabar separuh dari imann ezza

tak sabar sabar sebab nak makan next week punya la banyak open house yeahh!rumah sue la rumah nisha rumah ash la rumah hakim lagi haha sume pun aku nak pegi1aku kan suka makan hahahaha tak sabarrrrrrrr okay=)