bummed

All people in my life is running away.Faded away as the day pass by.Everyone.What goes wrong?I’m a failure in life about socializing.back then I have bestfriends who I really really loved.i feel secure when I was with them.they were my everything.i enjoyed every second with them.i guess my love just wasted all this while as God unmasked them.back then,i put all the blame on them because of my unhappiness.i suffer a lot.i was mentally distracted and abused mentally.i had the trauma in the heart as one by one of bestfriends left me in hatred.maybe they did not choose that way.maybe I’m the one who likes to make everything worse.true that.maybe they’re not entirely wrong.maybe I’m just be selfish and hyperactive.that’s the way I roll.i used to think that they ruined my teenage life.i wasn’t happy at all.my days coloured in gray and only one of two of my classmates strengthen my heart.tell me how does it feels when your bestfriends stabbed in at the back?when they have duo personalities?angel in front sataan behind?i thought they were different.i thought they were truly my bestfriends.i was fucking wrong.they were not truthful to me.i really thought that I could trust them.thats why I’m not blaming them as I can’t achieve my happiness because of my own foolness.i was fool not to know the real them.i was fool to hide my true feelings about them.i was fool to call them my bestfriends.i was fool to trust them.i don’t blame them anymore.it was all my fault.i expected to receive the same amount of love I gave to them.daddy was right.we can’t make everybody to follow our way.people are different.why can’t I face the fact?easy.because I was really blind.now we are even.i don’t blame them no more.but one thing for sure,I will never wanna see their faces ever in my life as I’m trying to forget my ruined teenage life.i’ve learnt a lot.i thank them as I gained more experiences and I’m stronger than ever.i will never revenge.i believe in karma and God will show them how I felt back then.it’s just the matter of time.all I do now is just to sit back and watch what will happen